Why you need a planner now more than ever in these trying times.

Phase 2, phase 3, shutdowns and rollbacks. Are we moving forward or finding ourselves two steps behind? 2020 is certainly a year for the history books, especially if you’re one of the couples planning a wedding during Covid-19. I see many of my couples panicking at this junction. As coronavirus cases surge, and our phased reopening plans are paused, the current state of weddings in San Diego is at a stand still. We are now at the junction of dealing with previously postponed weddings, and the newly affected ones. This upheaval is unnerving for so many couples, but they can’t just continue to postpone their wedding indefinitely. 

It seems that many of us tend to think in terms of polar opposites. That is, in terms of the best and worst-without accepting the possibilities that lie between these two extremes. On one end of the spectrum, we’ve got the couples who are willing to postpone their weddings for half a year and more.  On the other end we have the clients that don’t want to wait any longer. There are a myriad of possibilities. Maybe the couple is now expecting a child and would like to officially tie the knot as soon as possible. Or the couple is coming up on their third year of engagement, and don’t want to wait any longer. Maybe it’s financially better for the individuals to be legally married. Regardless, there are so many potential reasons that couples fall into one of these categories. 

wedding rings
Oh Lovely Wedding Photography

Postponing your wedding planning during Covid, again.

We’re now in July, arguably three and half months since the quarantine began and locally upended wedding planning in San Diego. It makes me wonder, is it futile to postpone your wedding? Are you in essence, postponing your life? What’s to say that one postponed wedding date won’t lead to another? No wonder so many of us feel stalled, depressed and uncertain with what to do with ourselves. As this brave new world develops, we are confident that a team of brilliant minds will find the antidote. But what about until then?

Covid isn’t going anywhere, and apparently neither are our wedding plans. If this virus continues to play a dramatic game of ping pong with our lives, when will we say we’ve had enough? At what point do we decide to live with the virus and move forward? The alternative is a sobering thing to think about- not knowing what to do next, or even allowing ourselves to do nothing at all. Maybe it’s the lack of action and planning that actually erodes our confidence in ourselves, our relationships, and our communities. If we learn nothing more from this period in history, it would be to move forward. Keep dancing regardless of whether someone is watching or not. All kidding aside, let’s consider changing the way we view this time in our lives.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

-Victor Frankl

It’s about more than just your wedding

In light of the past few months this comes as poignant reminder of where we’ve been not only as a country, but also with ourselves. This pandemic affects us all, and we are forever changed because of it. We must not only reevaluate our interpersonal relationships, but also the intrapersonal. Once we have a better understanding about ourselves and those around us, can we then begin to confidently move forward. It won’t matter how many rollbacks, or reopenings try to rain on our parade.  It is time to act and decide if we are allowing ourselves to drift along the winding road of life, or taking a more active role in the management of our journey. 

planning-a-wedding-during-covid
Carmen Santorelli Photography

Pros & Cons of Postponing your Wedding in San Diego

To revisit the original scope of this article, maybe postponing your wedding once won’t be that disruptive to your lives. If that’s the case, enjoy the extra time with your significant other and live it up as much as you can. Find a new hobby now that summer is here in full swing. Take time for yourselves, do anything, do something, just stay safe.

However, if postponing puts undue stress on your five or ten year plan, then consider that, too. No one wants to be in a rush to live life if they don’t have to. As I’ve talked with so many couples as of late, it’s apparent that if you’re hoping to start a family sooner rather than later, maybe postponing your nuptials for three years down the road might not be the best option. Heck, it certainly wouldn’t make the race against the biological clock any less stressful!

With that in mind, maybe an intimate wedding or minimony now will be perfect fit for you. This can give you both some space between your ceremony and reception to just be. You’ll be able to enjoy each other, the process, and help appreciate this special time in your lives. Feel free to check out my other article that dives a bit deeper into planning a small wedding in San Diego.

It’s important to remember that whichever path a couple chooses, at least they’re doing it with the one they love, that makes all the difference in life. 

micro-wedding-rancho-bernardo-inn
All Good Things Photography

Who wants to plan their wedding, again?

So what about planning?

Even before the pandemic, many couples didn’t want to deal with the rollercoaster of wedding planning highs and lows. No doubt, this fact is especially magnified when a couple is planning their wedding for the second or even third time. No ones wants to feel like they’re watching Groundhog Day, am I right?

Anything is Possible at this Point

If you’ve been able to get through the planning process rather unscathed, congratulations! But what about the second or third time around, do you want to take that chance? It might be time to put your needs, (and sanity) first by finding a wedding planner. Think about it this way, when Covid first hit wedding planning, a majority of companies and vendors were willing to do whatever it took to select another date and not cancel. But as the virus drags on without a definite end date, views might change. What went from “postpone don’t cancel” might now look a bit different. Not only will vendors be managing those couples that are postponing their wedding for the first time, but many for the second or third times. And don’t forget about all the freshly engaged couples who are just getting into the game.

garden bridal bouquet by san diego florist
Nicole Clarey Photography

Vendor Protocol

It’s easy for clients to forget that many vendors rely on weddings as their sole source of income. With that said, some vendors might be hard pressed to discount their services even more just to stay afloat. It’s fair to say that as vendors juggle more client postponements, it will be increasingly difficult to decide when to charge additional fees. For example, full service wedding planners are expected to oversee the event from beginning to end. At first, a postponement is understandable. But what happens when a wedding date changes a second or third time? What should protocol be if the client abandons the previously planned event for something more intimate, or at a different venue?Anything is possible at this point.

Weddings in San Diego, and across the country will inevitably cost more, if not at the first rescheduling, then probably the second. We can’t expect all the industries affected to offer us the same price for a 2022 wedding that was suppose to happen in 2020. This is where planners shine. We bring our years of experience into the mix and educate couples on what to expect, even in these uncharted waters. We speak the event language, which is why we’re so effective at getting the job done, usually with greater results than a couple fending for themselves. Planning a wedding during Covid-19 doesn’t have to be cataclysmic. 2020 might just be one of the best things to happen to your engagement plans.

beach couple planning a wedding during Covid
Rachel Marie Photography

bridal bouquet from sisti&co

Advice

The Current State of Weddings in San Diego

July 3, 2020

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